Knowing the situation you are walking into is always a good idea, it makes it easier to deal with any problems that life may throw you. This is especially true if you have just undergone a lot of emotional stress, a divorce for example.
Going through a divorce is stressful enough, then when you have recovered enough to start online dating again there are new potential risks to be aware of. Your mind has a lot of power over your actions; don’t let the bitterness from your divorce ruin your chances of successful dating and enjoying those dates.
Leaving any marriage causes stress to all parties concerned. It can be hard to leave that stress behind but you will need to if you are going to have any success on the dating scene.
When you are going on dates it is usually with someone that you know a little if at all. This can be an area of worry as there are dating men in this world who will take advantage of the vulnerable state you will be in so soon after a divorce. It is a tough balancing act between being open and trusting with the people you are dating and making sure that no one takes advantage of you.
One additional, and very important, means of safeguarding yourself from being exploited is to keep the focus of casual dating on the word ‘casual;’ you are keeping your best interests in mind if your social life does not include filling your dates in on details about your marriage, former spouse, or other personal information.
If anyone whom you have chosen to date on a casual basis begins to pry for such information, and does not respect your need for privacy on personal issues, this is not a sign of interest; it is a sign that he or she is attempting to get in too deep where he or she should not.
After many years of being married it can be very difficult to get back into the dating scene. You may feel that you no longer know the rules of dating, what topics are safe to talk about and what topics are not suitable for polite company. Talking about your hobbies, music and where you grew up is acceptable, how much money you make or what your divorce settlement was is not.
Be careful that you don’t use what should be a fun date as an unpaid for counseling or psychotherapy session. The person who agreed to go on a date with you expected a meal, maybe a dance or two, they did not sign up to spend a hour listening to your moans about your ex. It won’t help you get back into a happy, fruitful dating circle if you become known as someone who constantly moans at every one of your dates.